Here it is more than a week later and I’m still all “Grrrr” about the Bones finale. I can’t help but wonder how David Boreanaz, Emily Deschanel, and the rest of the cast really feel about Eric Millegan’s departure and the way it was done. We’ll probably never know, but instead of continuing to fume over it, I’ve reworked the finale to soothe my irritated mind. What follows is how I would have been “blown away” by Hart Hanson’s desire to “shock” the fans in the finale.

——–
The show opens on Brennan standing beside Booth’s grave speaking eloquently about Booth’s life and his service to his country. She was indeed informed of Booth’s survival, and understood the opportunity to take out the guy the FBI was trying to ensnare. Booth is moved by her words as he stands in his dress uniform with the honor guard (or whatever, I don’t know the proper term for them) and has a little half-smile on his face when he notices their target moving in towards the coffin. A scuffle ensues, in which Brennan and the undercover agents subdue the guy.

Cut to the diner where Booth and Brennan are chatting. Maybe Booth starts to bring up the stuff she said graveside, but they are interrupted by Sweets who joins them and attempts to analyse the whole fake death scenario. Booth and Brennan return to treating him like the annoying kid brother who wants to hang out and some fun banter is had by all.

Back from the commercial break and Brennan et. al. are working in the lab identifying 500 year-old bones while things are quiet. It’s at this point that Zack finds the box with Gormagon’s jawbone and hands it to Brennan. She is unwilling to suppose the jawbone and screws are from Gormagon, but of course, they are and the team begins working on identifying the jawbone. We have the “Booth paralyzed by the paradox of the lab being a crime scene that the techs can’t enter” scene and it’s at this point where we notice a tour group of bright young students being herded out of the area by security. The camera hones in on one particular student who seems to be watching Booth and the others begin to investigate the bone. He has a smirk on his face.

Cam identifies the bone as belonging to the lobbyist and Zack and Hodgins perform their experiment to determine how the denture marks on the jawbone were created and they somehow forensically figure out (bear with me, I figure this part is the writer’s job to fine-tune all the forensics stuff), through a bunch of tests and bouncing of ideas off each other that the rest of the lobbyist’s bones are scattered amongst the bones in Limbo. And they discover that the dentures were created from the canines from several skulls. But who would have had access to Limbo that could slip in with a bag of bones, scatter them, and rip out canines from a bunch of skulls unnoticed?

It’s a mystery.

The gang starts looking at each other for motive as they realize the apprentice and/or Gormagon could be among them. Booth and Brennan work with Sweets to try to profile their coworkers, huddled up in Brennan’s office. There is an explosion - purely diversionary - in one of the chemical labs. When the smoke clears, Zack Addy is missing. There is confusion and angsty drama as the team try to decide whether Zack is the apprentice or whether he’s been kidnapped. Brennan gives another eloquent and passionate speech about loyalty and trust that she has in her team while Booth finds evidence on the security cam that Zack was actually taken by a skinny, small male who had managed to knock Zack out with chloroform or something.

Suddenly, the case hits the gang closer to home as each work hard to find clues that will lead to Gormagon and save Zack. Finally it’s Hodgins, who identifies an unusual spike in lead levels around a sprawling, rundown estate. Booth leads a team in, finding a blue back door they could break down. The wend their way through twisty hallways until a room opens up. It must have been a pool at some point, but now it’s a sunken, tiled floor surrounded by candles, with a table set up in the middle. Fine linens, polished silverware and beautiful crystal deck out the table. Seated there is Gormagon and his apprentice, both sporting fangy, canine dentures, grinning like madmen. Before him on the table is the meal he was eating. Behind him is Zack, dead, and being consumed. He is trussed like the silver skeleton and a large portion of his midsection is just gone, presumably cooked and set on the table as Gormagon’s meal.

During the scene with the FBI team and Booth breaking into Gormagon’s place, there could be a flashback montage of the clues in the episode that show who the apprentice was, how he got inside the lab, and most importantly, why they took Zack:

The apprentice was young enough to be able to pass as a student in a tour group. In a place as large as the Jeffersonian, it’s easy to slip away from the group and get into places you don’t belong (hey, it’s television.) He scattered the lobbyist’s bones in several trips with the bones in his backpack. He wasn’t searched as part of a tour group.

One flashback shows Gormagon approaching Zack at a conference and engaging him in conversation. We don’t hear what is said, but it’s clear that he and Zack spoke for some time. But because Zack never mentioned the conversation during the investigation, we can assume that Gormagon never came out and said who he was and could easily have just been ‘talking shop.’ Perhaps Gormagon knew who Zack was and was fishing for info about the silver skeleton in the vault and where the team stood on discovering his identity. Or perhaps he was looking to recruit because his current apprentice was faltering in some way. This could maybe stay vague. Anyway, the Gormagon decided in his twisted mind that if he took out Zack, it would impede the investigation and allow him more time to find a way to retrieve the skeleton. He just didn’t count on Hodgins finding his location based on the lead content in the water.

The show ends with another funeral, this one real, this one for Zack. His whole family is there and very sad, and his other family, his friends at the Jeffersonian are there. Brennan, again, is speaking eloquently about Zack and what he meant to her. Booth is stoic, but mentally beating himself up for not protecting the boy.

Fade out.

——–

So yes, I killed Zack Addy. I wrote this from the viewpoint that Hart Hanson wanted to “shake things up” and Eric Millegan was going to be the victim of the shakeup, so I wanted to give Zack a better ‘out.’ That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I’ve been checking out a show recommended to me by a fellow Buffy fan called “Blood Ties.” Now, according to my friend, “Blood Ties” is on the bubble, but everything I’m reading says the show has been canceled.

It aired on the Lifetime channel for two (albeit brief) seasons and there are 22 episodes in all, which is more than Firefly had and I love that show despite knowing it will never air again. But I’ve been making a habit out of getting hooked on shows that have been canceled, thanks to iTunes and DVDs. You can look at it in one of two ways: You can not bother to watch it because you know it will never continue, or you can watch it and treat it like a potentially good book.

I’m going with the second option. My fellow BTvS fan convinced me to give the show a try by telling me about the interesting stories, the angst, and the general vampire-ness of it. So off to iTunes I went and I’m about just about done with the first season (of 12 episodes.)

I like the show. I don’t feel strongly about it, however, and I’m not about to buy DVDs, download wallpapers, think about starting a fansite, write fanfic, or join message boards over it, but it’s a passable, enjoyable story. Like a decent book you read once or twice and forget about.

The premise is basically this: Feisty-but-cute P.I. Vicky Nelson becomes embroiled in a supernatural world after she meets Henry Fitzroy, a 480 year-old vampire (who was the son of Henry the VIII) and they begin working together to solve crimes.

As far as vamps go, Henry is very hot, of course, but kind of a wuss. Maybe I’m used to Spike and Angel’s versions of ass-kicking vampires, but it seems like old Fitz here keeps getting beaten and isn’t much help when it comes to keeping the baddies away from Vicky. But he’s very pretty.

Vicky is an investigator with a big chip on her shoulder when she develops a degenerative eye disease that caused loss of vision and got her booted off the police force. She still works with her old partner, Mike Celluci on occasion who carries a torch for her and is highly jealous of Fitz, who also carries a torch for Vicky.

I think this could be a magnificent show if the plots were more intricate, and the writing a bit better. But it’s serviceable and I’ll most likely finish watching it.

Much has been said about this iconic show from the 80s. I’m not going to rehash any of it except to share that some of my best family memories are of all of us - mom, dad, baby sister and myself made it a point to gather in the family room on Thursday nights to hang out with the Cosby’s. There was the obligatory giant bowl of popcorn we shared and a bottle of Pepsi each (yes I said ‘bottle.’ And ‘Pepsi’ although now I’m mostly a Coke fan) and we were set.

I think that scene up there is my all-time fave Oh yeah, and I would have killed for Denise’s wardrobe.

Bit O’ Trivia: The character of Sondra, the Huxtables’ eldest daughter, was added almost as an afterthought. They decided there should be another child that represented the results of a good upbringing, hence a daughter in college. When casting the role, it came down to two actresses: 26-year-old Sabrina Le Beauf and 21-year-old Whitney Houston. LeBeauf’s theater experience won her the role. - IMDb

Remember this show? I sort of do. It’s hazy. Possibly because it only had one season, but what makes me go, ‘Awww Square Pegs’ whenever it comes up is whenever I think about the show, I get very nostalgic for the 80s.

I remember thinking Tracy Nelson’s character, Jennifer DeNuccio was cooler than cool and I wanted to be popular like her. But I was more like Sarah Jessica Parker’s character, Patty Greene - a bit of a loser with dreams of being popular. That whole shtick may seem sterotypical and cliched these days, but in 1982, I was in junior high, I had braces, coke-bottle glasses, a bad perm, and I never had the right clothes. I envied the girls who wore Ralph Lauren polos and Guess jeans with perfect hair, flawless skin and cute boyfriends.

And so I remember identifying with Square Pegs quite a lot. But to be fair, it’s been 16 years since I’ve seen the show, so forgive my hazy recollection But! It came out on DVD yesterday.

The premise of the show follows Patty Greene and Lauren Hutchinson, two freshman who tried hard to be accepted into these cliques. The only problem was they stood out like sore thumbs. Patty was brainy and wore glasses, and Lauren was overweight and had braces. Thankfully, two other “square pegs” accepted them. They came in the form of aspiring comedian Marshall Blechtman and New Wave rocker Johnny Ulasewicz (aka Johnny Slash). Still, Lauren and Patty wanted to be in with the cool kids who came in the form of Jennifer DeNuccio, a wanna-be Valley Girl; LaDonna Fredericks, the hippest black girl in Weemawee High; Jennifer’s boyfriend Vinnie Pasetta, a John Travolta carbon copy; and Muffy Tepperman, a Jewish princess who joined anything from JV pep squad to science fair organizer. - Courtesy IMDb.

Hehe. Muffy. Muffy was played by Jamie Gertz who - to me - is best known as ‘Star’ from the excellent vampire movie, “The Lost Boys.” She had the coolest hair.

So if you’re like me and sometimes miss leg-warmers and neon t-shirts, rolling the cuffs of your jeans and wearing penny loafers without socks, throw Square Pegs in your Netflix queue, or just buy it The more I think about the show, the more I remember it as being a fun little romp.

Bit O’ Trivia: On the locker in the opening credits you will see a wedding invitation of Daytime’s ultimate supercouple: Luke & Laura Spencer.

I’m going to take up this space to talk about my reactions to the Bones season finale. If you have not watched it yet, don’t read on because I’m pretty much going to spoil it.

Initial thoughts as I actually watched the episode were that first, I was a little bit mad at the blatant emotional manipulation of Booth’s fake-out funeral. They leave us hanging (sort of, I mean come on, they aren’t going to kill off David Boreanaz) as to whether Booth died of a gunshot, and they open the finale with everyone getting ready to go to his funeral - and they all believe he died.

But it turns out that his death was faked so the FBI could lure out some no-name national Security risk we’ve never heard of who said he’d only resurface at Booth’s funeral. I’m sorry, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot??? The only thing I can think of that was served by this silly, clichéd plot device was it exposed Sweets’ manipulation of Brennan’s grief, and let us see Booth naked in a bathtub.

But moving past that and into the big shebang moment of the show - Zack was the apprentice Gormagon. Zack Addy, brilliant if socially awkward Zack apparently got brainwashed by a nobody with an inferiority complex.

Yeah, I don’t buy it either. And judging by the fan reaction on some boards, I’m not the only one angry at the crapfest that was the Bones finale.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I do not think the episode was completely without merit. The actors did what they do exceedingly well, which is taking something bad and turning it into emotional, character-layering awesomeness. For example, The character of Cam on the show has often felt 2-D and just sort of there for exposition purposes. Last night, when she learned the truth of Zackaroni’s betrayal, the way she handled it, the emotions that played across her face were amazing. The same for Brennan in the scene where she shows Zack that his logic is flawed and that he was used by Gormagon (or whatever, I got lost. I’m not big with the logic myself.) A simple gesture of resting her head on his showed us how much she loved Zack and wanted desperately for the whole thing to be untrue.

The show was filled with excellent moments like that. But they were all negated by the fact that the seemingly threw some names in the air and whichever one landed face-up was going to be the baddie. The plotholes are so big that even I can’t fanwank them. And I shouldn’t have to work so hard TO fanwank it.

First of all, they did not drop a single piece of clueage during the entire season that one could look back on and realize that Zack was indeed ripe for a little brainwashing. He seemed a little off when he returned from Iraq, but they never dealt with it. Did he have issues? Why was he sent back early? Does he have PTSD? Who knows? Other than that, we have no flippin’ idea why Zack was vulnerable to the Gormagon. And it’s not that I have a problem with the apprentice being Zack. I could buy it if there had been a single thread, a tiny clue along the way that lead to this. I think it would have had more of an emotional impact if there had been.

The biggest plothole of all? The story arc of the Gormagon and his cannabalistic followers was clear in that the apprentices were all “widow’s sons.” They were mostly recruited from the foster care system. Um hai - Zack came from a huge, loving family and his father is still alive. Therefore, he is not a widow’s son.

*sigh*

I will miss Zack. From what I’ve read, the actor did not actually want to leave the show, but the writers and showrunner, Hart Hanson, wanted something shocking for the finale and I guess Eric Millegan drew the short straw. But he was my favourite squint.

I’ll watch next year because I’m loyal and I do love all the characters, but my adoration took a hit with this move and I’m unhappy at the apparent choices the showrunners made to go with this story arc. You can’t blame the writer’s strike. The Gormagon plotline could have carried over to next season easily. Honestly it might have been wiser to end with the AI tie-in episode and leave us wondering all summer if Booth made it and instead created a show about the guy the FBI needed to flush out at Booth’s funeral.

But I’m just a viewer. What do I know?

Ah Bones. The grand finale is tonight and from what little I’ve read (I’m a notorious spoilerphobe) it promises to be devastating. We’ll see. I’m both looking forward and sort of dreading it. At the end of last week’s episode, Booth was shot by his stalker in an episode that was both great, and really irritating.

It was a tie-in show for American Idol. That pisses me off. Not only do we have to contend with stunt casting a la Britney on How I Met Your Mother, but now FOX is using it’s lineup of serials and dramas to pimp AI? So help me if next year Kiefer Sutherland has to save Kelly Clarkson from a terrorist I will boycott FOX forever.

In last week’s Bones, The duo had to discover the killer of a karaoke singer with big dreams. The murderer and one of the suspects were played by two AI contestants. I’ve no idea if they got far in the contest because I stopped watching. Anyway, they solved the crime (and the killer was lame) but along the way Booth picked up a psycho stalker chick. They left it hanging as to whether Booth was dead or not, but come on. He’s one of the co-stars and a producer to boot. I somehow doubt he’s dead.

Having whinged about the show a little I’m still going to say I’m looking forward to the finale.

Years ago, a good friend of mine made me a mixtape with awesome songs on it. But interspersed with those awesome songs were a ton of equally awesome TV theme tunes. So in the spirit of my mixtape (which I still have btw) I made this mixtape. Enjoy!

FOX just announced that they will be scheduling Joss Whedon’s new show, “Dollhouse” as the lead-in to “24″ on Monday nights in 2009. I think I just had a Jossgasm. And as if THAT news wasn’t cool enough, the first promo picture of the cast of “Dollhouse” is out!

Click to embiggen!

AAAAND as if THAT wasn’t cool enough - Click here to view the Dollhouse Trailer!

According to the Hollywood Reporter, FOX has announced their Fall lineups. I’ll paste it in here, but frankly, I am head-over-heels in love with the Dollhouse/24 goodness. Good news for Joss too as I can guarantee he’ll have some stellar ratings considering 24 fans have been waiting and waiting and waiting for the new season. It’s been very Soprano-esque. Anyway, here is FOX’s lineup:

MONDAY 8:00-9:00 PM
TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES9 9:00-10:00 PM PRISON BREAK

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM HOUSE
9:00-10:00 PM FRINGE

WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM BONES
9:00-9:30 PM ‘TIL DEATH
9:30-10:00 PM DO NOT DISTURB

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
9:00-10:00 PM KITCHEN NIGHTMARES

FRIDAY
8:00-9:00 PM ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5th GRADER?
9:00-10:00 PM DON’T FORGET THE LYRICS!

SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 PM COPS
8:30-9:00 PM COPS
9:00-10:00 PM AMERICA’S MOST WANTED: AMERICA FIGHTS BACK
11:00 PM-Midnight MADtv
Midnight-12:30 AM TALKSHOW WITH SPIKE FERESTEN
SUNDAY 7:00-8:00 PM
THE OT (NFL post-game) 8:00-8:30 PM THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 PM KING OF THE HILL
9:00-9:30 PM FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 PM AMERICAN DAD J

JANUARY

9:00-9:30 PM ‘TIL DEATH
9:30-10:00 PM DO NOT DISTURB

9:00-10:00 PM AMERICA’S MOST WANTED: AMERICA FIGHTS BACK

The Upfronts and show announcements have been going on as the May sweeps come to an end. As of May 15th, these are the shows that have been renewed, the ones on the bubble, and the dearly departed, courtesy of the IMDb.

Returning
NBC: Chuck, 30 Rock, The Apprentice, The Biggest Loser, Dateline NBC, Deal or No Deal, ER, Friday Night Lights, Heroes, Knight Rider, Law & Order, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Life, Lipstick Jungle, My Name is Earl, Medium, The Office, Sunday Night Football

ABC: Pushing Daisies, America’s Funniest Home Videos, Boston Legal, Brothers & Sisters, Dancing with the Stars, Desperate Housewives, Dirty Sexy Money, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Grey’s Anatomy, Lost, Private Practice, Samantha Who?, Supernanny, Ugly Betty, Wife Swap, Eli Stone, Scrubs, According to Jim, The Bachelor, Primetime: What Would You Do?

CBS: The Amazing Race, The Big Bang Theory, Cold Case, Criminal Minds, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, Ghost Whisperer, NCIS, NUMB3RS, Survivor, Two and a Half Men, Without a Trace, The New Adventures of Old Christine, The Unit, How I Met Your Mother, Rules of Engagement

The CW: Reaper, America’s Next Top Model, Everybody Hates Chris, The Game, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Smallville, Supernatural,

Fox: 24, American Idol, American Dad, Family Guy, Kitchen Nightmares, King of the Hill, Prison Break, The Simpsons, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, ‘Til Death, Bones, Hell’s Kitchen, House, Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

In Limbo
Fox: The Next Great American Band, Unhitched, Don’t Forget the Lyrics

Canceled
NBC: 1 vs. 100, Amne$ia, Bionic Woman, Clash of the Choirs, Journeyman, Las Vegas, My Dad is Better Than Your Dad, Phenomenon, Quarterlife, The Singing Bee, Scrubs (moved to ABC)

ABC: Men in Trees, Big Shots, Carpoolers, Cavemen, October Road, Women’s Murder Club, Cashmere Mafia, Miss Guided, Notes from the Underbelly, Oprah’s Big Give, Here Come the Newlyweds, Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann

CBS: Moonlight, Shark, Jericho, Viva Laughlin, Welcome to the Captain, Secret Talents of the Stars, Kid Nation, Power of 10

The CW: Aliens in America, CW Now, Life is Wild, Online Nation, Beauty and the Geek, Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants, Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious

Fox: Back to You, New Amsterdam, Nashville, Canterbury’s Law, K-Ville, The Return of Jezebel James

New
NBC: America’s Toughest Jobs, Chopping Block, Crusoe, Howie Do It, Kath & Kim, Kings, The Listener,Merlin, My Own Worst Enemy, The Philanthropist, Shark Taggers, Who Do You Think You Are?, Momma’s Boys, and The Untitled “Office” Spinoff

ABC: Life on Mars, Opportunity Knocks, The Goode Family, and an Untitled Ashton Kutcher/Tyra Banks Project

CBS: Worst Week, Project Gary, The Mentalist, Eleventh Hour, Harper’s Island, The Ex List,

The CW: 90210, Stylista, Surviving the Filthy Rich

Fox: Dollhouse (WOOHOO!), Fringe, Cleveland, The Inn, Class Dismissed

Ohhh man did I ever love this miniseries that first aired in 1983. It’s your typical ‘Aliens come to earth under that guise of friendship but really have quite insidious plans to steal our water and eat humans for dinner’ plot, but, cheesy 80s special effects aside (which actually weren’t that bad considering it was for television), it was pretty well done. Now the show is considered a cult classic which I think is just peachy.

The show followed a ragtag bunch of rebels as they came together, united and eventually defeated the Visitors. The parallels between their struggle and the WWII Jewish struggle against the Nazi’s was pretty blatant but not over the top (in fact, according to the IMDb, the series was intended as a literal telling of the Nazi takeover of German and the resistance movement against it. However, due to the popularity of Star Wars, network execs had the producers change it to a science fiction mini-series.) You had your heroes and your traitors, your allies and your enemies all fighting toward ultimate survival.

I think, possibly, though my memory isn’t the best, that “V” might have been my first real experience with Sci-fi that stuck with me. Yes I’d seen “E.T.” and “Star Wars” but while I love and appreciate those shows now, I don’t think they made the impression on me that “V” did.

I was riveted the moment Mike, the hotshot cameraman,  stopped in the middle of a fierce gunfight to look up in shock at a gigantic spaceship hovering above the earth. Then, through a montage of news reports, we discover that Mike’s ship is only one of a fleet moving over every major city on earth.

The main heroes of the piece are Mike and Julie. Julie is a brilliant biochemistry student and Mike is the afore-mentioned hotshot cameraman for the major networks. Julie finds herself the improbable leader of a group of rebels after her colleagues begin to mysteriously disappear after the Visitors arrive. Mike is a bit of a rogue who works alone but eventually he ends up helping Julie and her group by planning strategic assaults against the Visitors. With the help of a band of sympathizers among the aliens, they of course, eventually defeat them.

There’s way more to it than that, but in a nutshell

The miniseries led to a short-lived regular series which is also worth checking out, but I like the miniseries the best. Both are available on DVD fairly cheap so if you like a good sci-fi story, I highly recommend checking “V” out.

Bit O’ Trivia: The music that plays when the ship is first seen has as a major motif consisting of three short notes followed by one long note. This is the letter V in Morse code. It is also patterned after Ludwig van Beethoven’s fifth symphony